220 Funny little quotes

• I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

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  2 months ago

  childhood, fear, ghosts, humor, i, ID, kids, know, knowledge, little, never, parenting, something, supernatural, too

• Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

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  2 months ago

  app, apps, childhood, comparison, humor, i, laptop, little, sand, switch, technology, toddler

• At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

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  2 months ago

  around, breath, everyone, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, lift, little, me, revolve, self-centered, weight, world

• Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

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  2 months ago

  adventure, annoying, brave, bravery, destroy, fantasy, friend, Frodo, Hobbit, humor, little, lord, mission, ring, rings, save, save world, story, world

• Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

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  2 months ago

  brain, ever, having, humor, just, little, magnificently, read, reconcile, something, space, stare, stupid

• If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

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  2 months ago

  am, awareness, humor, i, ID, intelligence, irony, little, self-reflection, smart, stupid

• Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

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  2 months ago

  activity, adventure, corn, corn maze, fun, fun activity, humor, just, kids, let, little, lost, maze, never, oh, parenting, right, stay

• Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

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  2 months ago

  advice, age, complaint, getting, grandma, humor, joints, just, little, roll, rolling, tight

• I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

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  2 months ago

  am, crazy, honesty, humor, i, identity, know, little, personality, self-awareness

• Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

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  2 months ago

  chubby, contradictions, dynamics, eat, eating, family, family dynamics, food, guilt, humor, less, little, parents, say

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