Funny quotes lost

42 Funny lost quotes

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

4 days ago

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

2 weeks ago

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

2 weeks ago

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

1 month ago

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

1 month ago

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

1 month ago

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

1 month ago

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

1 month ago

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

2 months ago

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

2 months ago

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

3 months ago

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

3 months ago

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

3 months ago

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

3 months ago

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

3 months ago

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

3 months ago

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

3 months ago

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

3 months ago

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

3 months ago

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

3 months ago

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

3 months ago

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

3 months ago

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

3 months ago

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

3 months ago

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

3 months ago

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

3 months ago

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

3 months ago

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

3 months ago

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

3 months ago

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

3 months ago