Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Commentary:
Ah, a classic case of selective amnesia blended with a touch of marital honesty! 🤣 It seems like your wife might need a memory boost or maybe just some upgraded rose-tinted glasses! 👓💭 Just remind her of your charm and wit, and she'll remember why she fell for you in the first place! 😉🌟
6 months ago
Share →: When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Commentary:
"Bravo to this wheelie awesome individual! 🎉♿️ Who knew saving the world would come with a seating arrangement requirement? 😂💰 Keep rollin' towards that million, one wheel revolution at a time! 🌟🚲 #WheelchairWisdom"
6 months ago
Share →: Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Commentary:
"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical, sipping a margarita on a beach somewhere 🍹☀️🌴 #LifeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging – where 'senior moments' become a daily adventure! 🧓📱 Don't worry, just tell them you were too busy living in the moment to remember it! 😅 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"
6 months ago
Share →: My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's a purrfessional at holding a grudge! 🐱😼 Don't worry, just a little cat-itude adjustment and they'll be back to meow-sing with you in no time! 😹 #LateToThePawty
6 months ago
Share →: Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Commentary:
"Seriously, airlines be like: 'You want to join us up in the sky? That'll be your firstborn child, please.' 🛩️💸 I mean, I'll bring my own snacks and a playlist – just tell me what's fair game here."
6 months ago
Share →: How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Commentary:
"Looks like we have a classic case of 'dipping out' with dip on the mind! 🧀💃Who knew that queso could be the perfect excuse for a stylish exit? Just remember, a true queso lover never leaves a party without a cheesy companion! 🎉👋 #LifeHack #QuesoOnTheGo"
6 months ago
Share →: Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Commentary:
Looks like wishing for the day your colleagues actually deserve might not always be appreciated! 🤣 Maybe a simple "Have a great day" could save you from making enemies at work. Lesson learned! 😉 #OfficeHumor
6 months ago
Share →: I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Commentary:
"Who knew taking the high road could lead to the high sugar levels? 🍦🍰 Next time, it's okay to be the 'sweet' person instead! 😉 #SugarRush #LifeLessons"
6 months ago
Share →: When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't stick around – my comfy pajamas are calling my name! Gotta make sure I'm fashionably early to that appointment. 💤🌙"