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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Spotted on Reddit:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Live now on Twitch:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

2 weeks ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, personal, personal safety, recreational, relief, safety, smoke, stress, stress relief, weed
My brain is on airplane mode today.

2 weeks ago

airplane, airplane mode, brain, distraction, humor, laziness, mental, mental state, mode, state, today
Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

2 weeks ago

emotion, health, humor, humor quote, mental, mental health, resilience, sarcastic, stress, together
Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

2 weeks ago

activity, car, free, fun, fun activity, health, loud, mental, mental health, nice, relief, singing, stress, stress relief, therapy
If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

2 weeks ago

body, body image, comedy, comparison, fat, fatter, feel, health, humor, image, just, know, mental, mental health, motivation, positivity, sad, self-esteem, someone
Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

2 weeks ago

again, doing, drugs, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, mindfulness, recreational, satire
Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

2 weeks ago

alone, alone time, anyone, apps, delete, detox, detoxification, digital, digital detox, digital detoxification, girl, happiness, health, isolation, mental, mental health, phone, self-care, solitude, sometimes, speak, time, true, week
Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

2 weeks ago

addiction, benefits, cannabis, example, fat, gain, health, health risk, humor, insane, insanity, laziness, lazy, mental, mental health, risk, satire, weight, weight gain
Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

2 weeks ago

cognitive, funny thought, head, health, humor, inner, inner voice, introspection, little, mental, mental health, mind, quirky, read, self-awareness, thought, using, voice, weird
Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

2 weeks ago

anxiety, doomscrolling, health, hobby, humor, internet, love, media, mental, mental health, social, social media

For even more funny mental quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

23 shares on Discord this month:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

41 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Just landed via Twitch:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Freshly posted on X:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Trending via Facebook:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Just shared via Twitch:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Trending via YouTube:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Activity Log ✨

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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