46 Funny minute quotes

• The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

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  6 hours ago

  breakup, feeling, humor, i, man, minute, mother, over, relationship, start

• Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

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  9 hours ago

  humor, laundry, machine, minute, minutes, regular, same, time, washing, washing machine

• I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

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  13 hours ago

  awkwardness, dominance, humor, i, interaction, me, minute, small, small talk, social, social interaction, someone, talk, yawn, yawning

• A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

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  18 hours ago

  behavior, chaos, child, child behavior, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, minute, most, people, productivity, toddler, unsupervised, unsupervised minute

• Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

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  21 hours ago

  else, hilarious, holding, humor, longer, microwave, microwave minute, minute, patience, phone, someone, sure, time, video, watching, while

• Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

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  21 hours ago

  25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth

• If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

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  22 hours ago

  anything, deadline, humor, ID, last, last minute, minute, motivation, never, procrastination, productivity

• I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

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  2 weeks ago

  doing, humor, i, joke, laziness, love, minute, procrastination, research, science, study, stuff

• If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

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  1 month ago

  broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker

• Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

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  1 month ago

  ahead, anywhere, change, change of plan, doing, doing nothing, enjoy, event, humor, i, invitation, invite, know, last, last minute, me, minute, need, needs, nothing, plan, preparation, procrastination, social, social event, spontaneity, time

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