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24 Funny minute quotes

Trending Funny Minute Quotes 🔥

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.
Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.
Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.
The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”
He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

New funny minute quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Commentary:
"When finding the remote needs military precision. Everyone, prepare for 'Operation Sofa Search'! 🛋️🔍🤣"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Commentary:
"The worst thing you can do while cleaning is accidentally hit the 'accept all cookies' button! 🍪🧹😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Commentary:
"Who needs love when you have notifications? 😂📱 Keep refreshing, darling, maybe this time someone other than the spam bots will show you some affection! 💔 #PhoneAddict"
3 months ago
Share →: Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Commentary:
"Whoever came up with a 30-minute lunch break must have confused ‘break’ with ‘snack’! 🍔🕒😂 Maybe they were just hangry and needed a time-out for a full meal refreshment! Time to rethink those productivity-enhancing punishment tactics! ⏰🥊"
4 months ago
Share →: Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Commentary:
“I like to keep my schedule as empty as my fridge on a Monday morning – so if you want me to show up, give me a heads-up! My plan to do nothing is a serious commitment that requires proper notice!”
4 months ago
Share →: I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Commentary:
When life gives you the wrong name, just roll with it like a boss. 💁‍♂️ "Call me Dan, call me Fran, call me Stan – I'll answer to anything for the sake of a good laugh!" 😂 #IdentityCrisisInStyle
4 months ago
Share →: I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Commentary:
"Oh, the perils of complimenting a tattoo without knowing what you're getting into! 🙈 Next time, just nod and smile, folks! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Commentary:
"Remember, sitting is the gateway drug to procrastination when cleaning! 🧹✨ Keep those cleaning legs moving, or you might find yourself binge-watching Netflix instead of decluttering! 🛋️🚫 #CleaningStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Commentary:
"Sorry I’m late, blame it on the washing machine's sneaky time management skills! 🕒🧺 Maybe next time I should double-check if it’s on ‘spin cycle’ or ‘time warp’ mode! ⏳😆"
5 months ago
Share →: The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Commentary:
"Ah, chocolate – the ultimate magician! 🍫✨ Now you see it, now you don't! It's like a delicious game of hide and seek that always leaves us wanting more. Who can resist the art of disappearing chocolate? 🎩😋"