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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Going bananas on YouTube:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Breaking via WeChat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Going viral on Messenger:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Going viral on Messenger:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

68 Funny modern quotes

More funny modern quotes 👇

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

1 week ago

being, confusion, dog, dogs, era, fear, food, food invention, having, historical, historical confusion, hot, hot dog, humor, imagine, invention, knowledge, modern, modern knowledge, renaissance, Renaissance era, something, time, time travel, tools, travel, waking
Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

1 week ago

accusation, AI, claim, era, false, false claim, getting, humor, misunderstanding, modern, modern era, suspicion, technology, trial, using, version, witch, witch trial
If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

1 week ago

A.I., AI, AI dominance, artificial, artificial intelligence, dominance, humor, intelligence, joke, life, modern, modern life, something, tech, tech humor, technology, wondering
The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

1 week ago

90s, call, common, common sense, etiquette, horror, horror movy, humor, modern, modern technology, movy, number, numbers, phone, phone call, phone etiquette, phones, scream, sense, technology, unknown, unknown number
Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

1 week ago

close, closer, connectivity, digital, friends, friendship, humor, keep, life, media, modern, modern life, smartphone, social, social media, technology
I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

1 week ago

communication, contact, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, telepathy, text, texting
Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

1 week ago

being, day, destiny, digital, digital life, humor, life, modern, modern life, phone, screen, screen time, sometimes, technology, time
Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

1 week ago

change, curiosity, everyday, everyday life, going, health, hear, hiccup, humor, i, less, life, modern, modern life, never, observation, people, popular
I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

1 week ago

ancient, fulfillment, humor, i, modern, politics, prophecy, satire, stop, trying, wish
If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

1 week ago

communication, humor, i, life, modern, modern life, relationship, reply, sarcasm, text, texting, timing

For even more funny modern quotes, hit next 👇

All funny modern quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Going viral on Threads:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Going bananas on Discord:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Spotted on YouTube:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just landed via Instagram:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Activity Log ✨

68 Funny modern quotes

More funny modern quotes 👇

All funny modern quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨