16 Funny opportunity quotes

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

  Commentary:
  When you hit 50, your bladder gets a promotion: Director of Urgency! 🚽😂

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

  Commentary:
  Is this why my voicemail has been renamed to 'Missed Drama Collection'? 😂📞💬

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

  Commentary:
  That's one way to prove love doesn't hurt! 😂❤️🌀

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

  Commentary:
  "Well, I guess this person is ready to trade in their human problems for eight tentacles worth of multitasking skills! Who needs arms when you can have tentacles, right? Watch out, world, here comes the future octopus graduate – just be sure to give them a hand… or eight!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: So many mistakes to make, so little time.

  Commentary:
  "Life's too short to make all the mistakes, but hey, at least we can try! 🤷‍♂️⏳ Learn, laugh, and make new mistakes – it's all part of the fun-sized chaos we call existence!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

  Commentary:
  "Life: Where missed opportunities and perfectly timed coffee spills compete for attention ☕️🤦‍♂️ #OpportunityKnockedButIGaveItTheWrongAddress"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs casual hookups when you can secure a job instead? 😂👔 Let's just hope this 'Friendship with Benefits' doesn't come with awkward performance reviews! 🤞💼 #NetworkingStrategy"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, 'dentures' just doesn't compare to the pun-tastic brilliance of 'substitooths' 🦷💡 It's a missed chance for some denture humor that could have really added a 'bite' to the dental world 😄🪥 #PearlyWhites"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

  Commentary:
  "Don't wait for the stars to align, embrace the chaos and make some mistakes! 🌟✨ Who knows, you might just stumble upon a happy accident! 🤷‍♂️💡 #EmbraceTheOops"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

  Commentary:
  "Willem Dafoe must have supernatural powers to play in two Nosferatu movies while we mere mortals struggle to get cast in just one! 🦇🧛‍♂️ Looks like he's bitten off more than he can chew… literally! 🤣 #HollywoodVampires"

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