This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Commentary:
🤣😅 Hang in there, buddy! Remember, tough times are like kidney stones – painful, but temporary! Just stay strong, hold on tight, and brace yourself for the wild ride. You've got this! 💪👊 #YouWillSurvive

I've been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I'm just going to stick with it and see it through.

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Commentary:
"Who says taking the scenic route isn't a valid life strategy? 🌍 Keep on circling that globe, my friend! Maybe you'll stumble upon some hidden treasures along the way…or at least a good snack stop! 🌮😄"

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal quest for the miraculous invention of a situation upgrade 🚀💡! It's like asking for a software update for life – where do we submit our feedback, right? Here's hoping the universe's tech support team is on it! 😄✨ #UpgradeNeeded

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Commentary:
"Who needs resolutions when the year itself needs to step up its game? It's time for 2022 to level up and bring on the awesome sauce! 🌟🥳 #YearGoals"

"Well, at least tomorrow is Friday." -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Commentary:
"Oh, the optimism in the face of impending doom! 😅 Hang in there, Wednesday warrior! Friday is just around the corner, ready to swoop in and rescue you from this midweek madness! 🦸‍♂️💥 #TheStruggleIsReal"

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Commentary:
"Who needs rose-colored glasses when you've got a flask for some liquid courage, amirite? 🥂 Here's to staying optimistic one sip at a time! 🌟 #LiquidOptimism"

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Commentary:
Carpe diem! 🌞 Unless today's coffee is lukewarm and the wifi is acting up. In that case, proceed straight to tomorrow! 🚀 #Priorities

Hopefully it won't be as bad as it already is.

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal optimist! 🌞 Keeping our fingers crossed that the universe goes 'Oh, my bad' and hits the reset button. 🤞😅"

Don't worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Commentary:
"Don't fret about a soggy start to summer! Just think of it as a free 'rain sauna' service. 🌧️☀️ Who needs a beach when you've got a warm raincoat? Keep those spirits up, and remember, soggy weather builds character and strong umbrella-wielding skills!"

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Commentary:
"Buying vegetables is like entering a lottery where the jackpot is a healthy meal, but the odds are stacked against you 🥦🥕💸. It's a true test of optimism in the face of vegetable-related disappointments! 🌟😂 #TriumphOfHope #VeggieStruggles"