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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Live now on Reddit:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Just landed via Telegram:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Just shared via Telegram:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

49 Funny optimism quotes

More funny optimism quotes 👇

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

2 months ago

anyone, appreciate, attitude, being, fails, fun, humor, i, i told you so, joy, optimism, pessimism, pessimist, sarcasm, saying, told
I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

2 months ago

attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong
I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

2 months ago

floor, fortune, hope, humor, i, later, luck, money, optimism, wish
My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

2 months ago

better, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, favorite, humor, irony, optimism, sarcasm, theory, things
“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

2 months ago

date, dating, drainage, expectations, humor, optimism, optimistic, pool, relationships
My toxic trait is optimism.

2 months ago

humor, optimism, personality, personality trait, sarcasm, toxic, toxic trait, trait
It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

2 months ago

crush, even, feelings, hope, humor, infatuation, just, love, optimism, romantic, sarcasm, unsupervised
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

2 months ago

bad, bad memory, happiness, humor, key, memory, optimism, perspective
They should invent a good thing that happens.

2 months ago

good, good thing, humor, invent, invention, optimism, positivity, should, thing
Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

2 months ago

cheer, cheer up, encouragement, future, humor, irony, mistake, optimism

For even more funny optimism quotes, hit next 👇

All funny optimism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Discord this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

10 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

87 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent someone who holds me.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

84 shares on Threads this month:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Just landed via X:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Shared recently on Discord:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Freshly posted on X:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Just landed via Instagram:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Activity Log ✨

49 Funny optimism quotes

More funny optimism quotes 👇

All funny optimism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨