76 Funny parent quotes

• You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

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  7 days ago

  5, affection, Asian, Asian parent, boom, children, cultural, cultural stereotype, family, form, hugging, humor, kissing, never, parent, parents, romance, stereotype

• The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

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  7 days ago

  1, butt, childhood, difference, humor, hygiene, i, me, parent, parenting, poop, priority, toddler

• Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

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  1 week ago

  80s, 90s, activity, bike, bike ride, childhood, far, i, maybe, nostalgia, outdoor, outdoor activity, parent, parents, ride, still, think, wrong

• I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

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  1 week ago

  childhood, commando, family, give, hear, humor, i, know, memory, mom, parent, prime, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, siblings, speechless, young, youth

• I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

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  1 week ago

  everyone, exhaustion, hours, humor, i, just, kid, kids, know, last, night, parent, rest, sleep, wanted

• Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

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  1 week ago

  family, frustration, humor, mother, nobody, own, parent, ragebait, relationship, sarcasm

• I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

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  1 week ago

  bad, family, fear, feel, getting, grandkid, grandkids, hope, humor, i, me, never, parent, parenting, parents, pregnancy, pregnant, proud, scare, scare tactic, scared, tactic, teenager

• What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

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  1 week ago

  belief, believe, childhood, ever, family, holiday, humor, kid, kids, parent, parents, pretend, pretending, Santa

• My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

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  1 week ago

  16, Christmas, guess, here, humor, i, joke, jokes, mall, me, parent, parents, real, right, Santa, teenager, told

• Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

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  1 week ago

  back, coming, coming back, family, humor, move, once, parent, parents, relationship, time, today, war

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