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27 Funny parent quotes

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

1 month ago

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

1 month ago

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

1 month ago

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

1 month ago

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

1 month ago

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

1 month ago

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

3 months ago

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

3 months ago

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

3 months ago

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

3 months ago

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

3 months ago

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

3 months ago

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

3 months ago

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

3 months ago

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

3 months ago

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

3 months ago

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

3 months ago

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

3 months ago

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

3 months ago

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

3 months ago