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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Live now on Messenger:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Breaking via Discord:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Going viral on Threads:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Just shared via Reddit:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

1112 Funny people quotes

More funny people quotes 👇

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

4 weeks ago

attention, attraction, humor, people, personality
Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

4 weeks ago

amount, chore, funny observation, here, household, housemate, humor, i, laundry, live, living, living situation, met, mystery, observation, people, situation, starting, think, wash, washing, week
Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

4 weeks ago

ability, algorithm, betterment, chance, humanity, only, people, please, post, psionic, psionic ability, show
Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

4 weeks ago

activity, five, game, humor, irony, people, risk, roulette, Russian, Russian Roulette, safe, safety, six, statistics
People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

4 weeks ago

argue, argument, conversation, debate, head, humor, imagination, inner, inner voice, life, me, mental, mental debate, mind, people, real, voice
“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

4 weeks ago

easy, family, family life, humor, kids, life, morning, parenting, people, relaxation, say, sleep, something, Sunday, Sunday morning
You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

4 weeks ago

bunny, bunny ear, ear, ears, gesture, giving, humor, nostalgia, people, photo, photography, photos, prank
Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

4 weeks ago

college, every, except, group, group project, humor, people, person, project, sarcasm, single, smart, smarter, student, teamwork, three, welcome, where
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

4 weeks ago

alone, car, good, humor, i, moment, people, performance, private, private moment, self-expression, shower, sing, singing, wish
Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

4 weeks ago

attitude, humor, hydrated, hydration, just, kill, laugh, let, little, motivation, much, people, positivity, reminder, self-care, stay, vibe

For even more funny people quotes, hit next 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Trending via Snapchat:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Going viral on Threads:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Live now on Slack:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Just landed via Instagram:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Activity Log ✨

1112 Funny people quotes

More funny people quotes 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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