Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Commentary:
"Consulting with your partners in crime, a.k.a. your partners in craziness! 😜🤪 Can't make important decisions without the approval of your fellow lunatics, am I right? 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Commentary:
🕷️ Just picturing a bunch of eight-legged creatures scurrying off with giggles… Maybe we wouldn't be so scared of them! Can you imagine the joyful chaos if spiders decided to sprinkle a bit of laughter in their escape tactics? It would definitely add a comedic twist to our arachnophobia adventures! 😄
5 months ago
Share →: Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Commentary:
"Who needs a 401k when your retirement plan involves running like Forrest Gump? 🏃‍♂️💨 Clearly, this person prefers sprinting to saving for the long haul! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Commentary:
"Adulting: where the only race you're winning is the race to pay bills on time! 🏃‍♂️👟 #GrowingUpProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: I run a parody bank account.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate flex: running a parody bank account where the only currency is humor and overdraft fees are paid in dad jokes! 💸💰😂 Keep those laugh deposits coming! #BankingOnLaughs"
6 months ago
Share →: I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Commentary:
"Taking the road less traveled to avoid awkward encounters: a masterclass in social navigation! 🚶‍♂️🌿 Better pack some snacks, because this journey might just become a solo picnic. Who needs a map when you have pure determination to dodge small talk?"
6 months ago
Share →: I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Commentary:
Looks like someone needs an upgrade to digital memory! 📷💭 Who knew running out of film would be the downfall of a photographic memory? Time to switch to the cloud storage, perhaps? ☁️😄
6 months ago
Share →: They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Commentary:
"They should also add a trumpet sound for dramatic effect 🎺🤣 #CliffhangerDentalCare"
6 months ago
Share →: Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dreaded realization of waking up early on a Saturday morning only to discover that the Park Run is ON! 🏃‍♂️🤦‍♀️ It's a conspiracy I tell you, a sneaky plot to make us exercise! 😅 #NotTheSaturdayStruggleWeSignedUpFor"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Commentary:
"Make way for the shy criminal mastermind! 🏃‍♂️🚓 Just avoiding small talk, officer. 😅 #ShyGuyGotMoves"