122 Funny show quotes

• They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

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  2 months ago

  big, comedy, end, entertainment, film, humor, movie, put, scene, sex, sex scene, show, suggestion, super, supercut, theater, year, year-end

• I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

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  2 months ago

  bad, bad idea, communication, crayon, creativity, frustration, humor, i, idea, patience, show

• Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

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  2 months ago

  cubicle, employee, employee handbook, handbook, humor, i, life, me, noise, office, office life, show, weird, weird noise, where, workplace, workplace humor

• If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

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  2 months ago

  check, cry, goal, humor, just, life, life goal, reality, reality check, retirement, sad, sad truth, show, someone, truth, year

• Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

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  2 months ago

  alone, animal, animal antics, antics, behavior, care, dog, entertainment, funny behavior, good, good show, home, home alone, house, leave, Netflix, normal, pet, pet care, scroll, show, watch

• Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

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  2 months ago

  humor, knowledge, lesson, life, life lesson, modesty, show, show off, underwear, useful, wisdom

• Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

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  2 months ago

  algorithm, attractive, attractive person, humor, media, most, only, people, person, post, show, social, social media, successful, successful person, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking

• I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

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  2 months ago

  Airbnb, amenity, bed, cable, cable television, eating, gym, hell, hotel, humor, i, leisure, love, pool, relaxation, room, room service, service, show, staying, swimming, swimming pool, television, time, TV, TV Show, using, vacation, watch, while, working, worst

• Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

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  2 months ago

  after, evening, finish, meal, morning, night, relaxation, routine, show, sleep, time, tomorrow, too, work

• Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

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  3 months ago

  choose, diary, expression, humor, i, just, media, personal, personal expression, show, social, social media, stranger, strangers, Twitter

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