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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has downloaded:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has shared:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has shared:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has viewed:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has shared:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

I’m not β€œlate”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of β€œtime”.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Twitch:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Seen just now on Slack:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Making waves on Instagram:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Just landed via Messenger:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Breaking via Slack:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Broadcasted on X:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has shared:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has shared:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

β€œWell, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Twitch:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Spotted on TikTok:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Making waves on Facebook:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Spotted on YouTube:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

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