154 Funny something quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

  Commentary:
  "Who wants to go out with a bang when you can go out with a grand piano solo 🎹 CRASH landing? Watch out composers, this person is aiming for a smashing finale! 💥😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

  Commentary:
  😂 "Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something. Because nothing distracts you from a headache better than an intense toe-ache! Remember, pain is temporary, but the memory of stubbing your toe will last forever. 😅🦶 #LifeHacks"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the rare talent of impressing oneself with embarrassing moments – a true mastery of self-surprise 😳👏 Who knew embarrassment could be so impressive? Keep setting the bar high, even if it's with blush-inducing remarks! 🤣"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

  Commentary:
  Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer 💃🕺 Sounds like this Roomba needs to upgrade its moves from cleaning floors to tearing up the dance floor! 💫

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic bedtime party trick: knocking over a glass of water in the dark! 🌙💦 Who needs an alarm clock when you have the sound of spillage to wake you up?! 🚨😅 One way to stay hydrated and entertained all night long! 🌌🛏️ #BedsideClumsiness"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the classic 'Will I ever escape this piece of clothing?' dilemma – the struggle is real, my friend! 🙈 Always remember, fashion may be tricky to put on, but getting out of it is a whole different story! 💃😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

  Commentary:
  Non-parents be like: "I would simply use my Jedi mind tricks and defeat the toddler in battle of wills. Easy peasy, right? 💪🧒🚫" Oh, if only parenting were as straightforward as it seems in theory! 😅 #ParentingStruggles

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your husband quickly learned that being the scapegoat is just another "handy" skill in marriage! 🤭👐 #BlameGameChampion

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, if your words aren't sweet, at least make them a treat! 🍭😆 Be the kind of funny that tickles hearts instead of toes!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

  Commentary:
  "Violin lessons? Sounds like a pretty risky business with all those strings attached! 🎻 How about considering an instrument that is more 'stringless' and carefree? I hear the air guitar is quite popular these days! 🎸😄"

For even more funny something quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny something quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌