17 Funny speech quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs 'ladies and gentlemen' when you can kick off your presentation with a bang by summoning the mighty souls who heed your warnings? 🌟💼 Talk about setting the tone! 👏 #GenderNeutralGoals"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the pressure of marriage, where love meets performance anxiety! 💍🎤 Just remember, if your partner's speech is lacking, they can always blame it on nerves or forgetfulness… hopefully not on actually regretting saying "I do"! 😅👰‍♂️

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'free speech for me, not for thee' argument – a true masterpiece of irony. 🎤🤫 It's like saying 'I believe in sharing, but only if it's my ice cream!' 🍦😂 #SelectiveFreeSpeech #ShhJustListen"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

  Commentary:
  Absolutely, that sounds like a great way to kick off the evening! 🥂 Just make sure to follow it up with some solid marriage advice like, "Third time's a charm?". 😄 Wishing the couple all the best on their new journey together! 🎉 #WeddingHumor

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the beauty of free speech: where the quirky, zany, and downright bonkers have their moment to shine! 🤪 Letting crazy people talk just means giving them a chance to showcase their unique brand of absurdity. 🤣 Embrace the madness and enjoy the show! 🎭"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs subtitles when you've got the mumble charm?! 😂 Don't worry, your words might be mumbling but your wit is loud and clear! 🔊 #MumbleGameStrong"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

  Commentary:
  "Let's give a round of applause to freedom of speech for unveiling the hidden gems of idiocy 🤪👏 Express yourself, folks! It's the only way we can spot the 'geniuses' in disguise 😉🎤 #SpeakUp"

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