44 Funny telling quotes

• Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

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  1 week ago

  back, boss, doing, doing nothing, excuse, humor, i, joy, laziness, nothing, procrastination, telling, work

• Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

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  1 week ago

  bother, even, guy, humor, interaction, joke, me, next, public, public transport, stranger, Subway, telling, ticklish, transport, trying

• Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

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  1 week ago

  baby, cause, celebration, communication, creampie, daily, humor, norm, parents, social, social norm, socially, telling, trying, unacceptable

• Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

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  1 week ago

  communication, confusion, everyone, good, horse, horses, humor, idea, keep, lot, nodding, sense, telling, true, year

• I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

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  1 week ago

  always, attitude, communication, decision, frustration, honesty, humor, i, just, people, respect, sarcasm, something, stupid, telling, want

• Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

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  1 week ago

  addiction, cocaine, drug, gods, humor, money, much, telling, too, wealth

• Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

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  1 week ago

  actually, artist, daily, daily habit, day, exaggeration, habit, i, listen, listening, literally, me, music, never, special, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, streaming, talent, telling, times, wrapped

• Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

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  1 week ago

  car, compliment, Corvette, day, Ferrari, guys, humor, i, insult, love, loved, rivalry, ruined, telling, today

• I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

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  1 week ago

  again, bathroom, bathroom scale, battery, change, frustration, hate, honesty, humor, i, scale, telling, truth, weight

• You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

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  1 week ago

  bad, compliment, ever, humor, interaction, know, met, people, person, personality, resilience, social, social interaction, start, strength, telling

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