31 Funny telling quotes — Wordgag ツ

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

5 hours ago5 hours ago

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

1 week ago1 week ago

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

1 month ago1 month ago

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

1 month ago1 month ago

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

1 month ago1 month ago

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

1 month ago1 month ago

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

2 months ago2 months ago

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

2 months ago2 months ago

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

2 months ago2 months ago

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

2 months ago2 months ago

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

2 months ago2 months ago

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

2 months ago2 months ago

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

2 months ago2 months ago

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

2 months ago2 months ago

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

2 months ago2 months ago

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

2 months ago2 months ago

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

2 months ago2 months ago

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

2 months ago2 months ago

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

3 months ago3 months ago