40 Funny telling quotes

• I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

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  3 weeks ago

  always, attitude, communication, decision, frustration, honesty, humor, i, just, people, respect, sarcasm, something, stupid, telling, want

• Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

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  3 weeks ago

  addiction, cocaine, drug, gods, humor, money, much, telling, too, wealth

• Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

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  4 weeks ago

  actually, artist, daily, daily habit, day, exaggeration, habit, i, listen, listening, literally, me, music, never, special, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, streaming, talent, telling, times, wrapped

• Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

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  2 months ago

  car, compliment, Corvette, day, Ferrari, guys, humor, i, insult, love, loved, rivalry, ruined, telling, today

• I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

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  2 months ago

  again, bathroom, bathroom scale, battery, change, frustration, hate, honesty, humor, i, scale, telling, truth, weight

• You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

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  2 months ago

  bad, compliment, ever, humor, interaction, know, met, people, person, personality, resilience, social, social interaction, start, strength, telling

• My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

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  2 months ago

  equipment, exercise, exercise equipment, favorite, favorite part, having, i, Peloton, people, showing, showing off, status, status symbol, symbol, telling, telling people

• You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

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  2 months ago

  costume, costume safety, fly, flying, humor, label, labels, safety, superhero, superman, Superman costume, telling, warning, warning label, why

• I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

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  2 months ago

  code, communication, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, learned, me, morse, Morse code, myself, rain, sleep, swear, swear word, telling, word

• My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

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  2 months ago

  common, common sense, detergent, eat, glue, hair, humor, i, just, label, laundry, laundry detergent, lesson, life, life lesson, me, never, put, read, sense, telling, warning, warning label, whole

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