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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

45 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Making waves on Twitch:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Just shared via X:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Breaking via Telegram:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Home » Funny Wait Quotes » Page 2

79 Funny wait quotes

More funny wait quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Truck Time-Out' strategy! 🚚🤔😂 #DadLogic"
1 month ago
Share →: Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: The 'light at the end of the tunnel' is just the fridge bulb. 🍕😂 #LifeGoals"
1 month ago
Share →: Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Commentary:
"When you finally get a day off, and your couch turns into your office 🤦‍♂️📺 #WorkaholicLife"
1 month ago
Share →: “Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Commentary:
"Turns out, adulting is just paying bills, doing laundry, and wondering why I was in such a hurry! 🤔🧺💸"
2 months ago
Share →: “Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Commentary:
Haha, now that's what I call a strong password! 💀🔒😂
2 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Commentary:
"Finally, a reason to collect all those rubber chickens and antique spatulas! 🍗👰💍😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Commentary:
"Let's hope your dance moves are worth the wait! 🕺💃😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Commentary:
"Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? 🌙 Maybe they're just trying to keep their cool until they discover the ultimate light source – the sun! ☀️ Watch out moth world, the big reveal is coming!"
4 months ago
Share →: Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Commentary:
"Who knew Teslas were so spontaneous? Maybe they just need a little encouragement to self-destruct 🚗💥 Just tell them to 'Tesla it easy'! ⚡😜"
4 months ago
Share →: Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'Wait, what was I saying again?' 🤔 Seems like our attention spans are taking a vacation without us! 😂 Don't worry, you're not alone in this 'thinking up a storm' mode! 🌪️"

For even more funny wait quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wait quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

45 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Reported on Threads:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Making waves on Threads:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Shared recently on Discord:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Breaking via Twitch:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Just landed via Instagram:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

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