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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

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15,752

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Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Going viral on WeChat:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Live now on Twitch:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Seen just now on Telegram:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Spotted on Threads:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

109 Funny wait quotes

More funny wait quotes 👇

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

23 hours ago

bad, bad screen, fatigue, good, good screen, home, looking, screen, screen fatigue, tired, wait
I really can’t wait until it all works out.

24 hours ago

anticipation, humor, i, optimism, patience, wait, waiting, works
If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

24 hours ago

attitude, blame, evil, humor, man, me, meet, origin, personality, think, transformation, wait
The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

1 day ago

chip, chips, different, eating, food, humor, i, pizza, restaurant, snack, starter, wait, waiting, while
Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

1 day ago

airport, car, caught, company, customer, customer service, frustration, guard, hand, humor, job, me, rental, rental car, rental company, reservation, sarcasm, service, show, sorry, wait, wanted
Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

1 day ago

appearance, before, complaining, complaint, grooming, haircut, humor, men, need, ones, people, wait, waiting
I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

1 day ago

anger, daily, daily life, expectation, frustration, humor, i, life, mad, media, next, open, phone, social, social media, surprise, tomorrow, wait
Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

1 day ago

couple, decades, give, heal, healing, humor, long wait, patience, recovery, self-care, should, time, wait, yourself
Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

2 days ago

anticipation, communication, couple, couples, humor, i, long distance, long-distance relationship, love, relationship, wait, waiting
Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

7 days ago

everyday, fantasy, humor, i, joke, me, romance, seduction, supernatural, vampire, wait, waiting

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Going viral on Twitch:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Activity Log ✨

109 Funny wait quotes

More funny wait quotes 👇

All funny wait quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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