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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Just shared via Slack:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Spotted on Threads:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Just landed via Slack:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

58 Funny warning quotes

Funny warning quotes 😂 are the perfect blend of humor and caution 🚫, serving up clever reminders with a side of laughter. These witty phrases turn everyday warnings into a comedy show 🎭, ensuring that even the most serious advice captures attention. Whether scribbled on a sticky note or shared on your favorite social media platform 📱, these quotes will leave you chuckling while keeping the message crystal clear. Dive in for a dose of humor and helpfulness! 🎉

New funny warning quotes 👇

For even more funny warning quotes, hit next 👇

All funny warning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

84 shares on Discord this month:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

57 shares on X this month:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a very active anti-social life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Just shared via Instagram:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Going bananas on TikTok:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Trending via WeChat:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Making waves on Instagram:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Going viral on Reddit:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

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