90 Funny woman quotes

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  2 days ago

  Share →: I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

  Commentary:
  Searching for the elusive Jolene like she’s a mythical creature. 🕵️‍♀️✨ Anyone seen her? She’s welcome to my non-existent man too! 🤷‍♀️👀

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  3 days ago

  Share →: The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

  Commentary:
  When it comes to superheroes, our generation's got more plot twists than a comic book! 😂🦸‍♀️🔍

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  3 days ago

  Share →: “You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

  Commentary:
  When being a sleepyhead becomes a talent competition, and I'm going for gold! 💤😴🥇

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  3 days ago

  Share →: Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

  Commentary:
  When she finally says she's ready and you get called out for needing 30 seconds to find your shoes: "Blink twice and I'm already behind schedule! 👠⏰😅"

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  3 days ago

  Share →: God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

  Commentary:
  Guess I'm the final boss in the game of Annoyance Level: Max 😂👾

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  3 days ago

  Share →: Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

  Commentary:
  I knew the weather app got too advanced when it started setting me up for dates! ☔️📱😂

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  3 days ago

  Share →: My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

  Commentary:
  Just need a cauldron and a cat, and you'll be casting curses in no time! 🧙‍♀️😼🍵

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  5 days ago

  Share →: Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

  Commentary:
  When I tried a ponytail, I just looked like a medieval squire 🏇😂

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

  Commentary:
  When she's sure she knows your feelings better than you do, it's like she's got a PhD in Mind Reading-ology 😂🧠📚

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

  Commentary:
  That sounds like my daily emotional rollercoaster on social media 🎢🧐💬👀💕

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