46 Funny addiction quotes

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  2 days ago

  Share →: Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew my bank account's arch-nemesis would be a humble tomato in disguise? #KetchupAddict"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

  Commentary:
  "That moment when your liver remembers the cycle better than you do! "

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

  Commentary:
  "Taking 'commitment issues' to a whole new level! "

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

  Commentary:
  Haha, same! My phone’s basically the director of my life now !

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

  Commentary:
  "Careful, those swag points might reach critical levels! #TooCool"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! #OfflineCritiques"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! #TweetWhisperer"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

  Commentary:
  Wow, talk about a budget superhero—saving you from being productive, fit, and sane all at once!

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

  Commentary:
  Looks like we've got a new public health crisis: "Car-itis"—the mysterious urge to park and peer into that glowing screen! Maybe they're just trying to see if their cars have feelings too, or auditioning for the next "Fast & Furious: Smartphone Edition." Who knew parked cars could be the hottest new social hotspots? Remember, folks: your phone can wait—your car might need a break too!

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to abuse substances when you can simply give them all the love and attention they deserve? It's all about fostering a healthy relationship with your vices, right?"

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