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205 Funny always quotes

Trending Funny Always Quotes 🔥

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.
It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.
My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.
I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.
If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

More funny always quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious phenomenon of the ever-hungry, elusive dinner-time child 🤔🍽️! It's like they possess a magical stomach that only grumbles at the most inconvenient times. Maybe we should start serving appetizers during the main course to keep them satisfied! 🤣 #KidsAndTheirHungryWays
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Commentary:
"I don't always say something stupid. But when I do, I make sure it's a masterpiece of epic proportions like a modern day Shakespearean tragedy… in 280 characters or less. 🤦‍♂️🤪 #WordsmithWoes"
2 months ago
Share →: “You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Commentary:
"Exactly! I'm just trying to channel my inner Jesus vibes, one sip at a time 🍷😇 #WineWednesdayMiracles"
2 months ago
Share →: If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day Morse code of friendship: missed calls and unread text messages! 📱😄 Don't worry, I'll be there in spirit, just a few notifications away! 🚀📵 #FriendshipGoals"
2 months ago
Share →: The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the art of finding a bench in a museum – truly a masterpiece within a masterpiece! 🖼️🪑 Who knew that sitting down could enhance one's appreciation of fine art? Perhaps the true masterpiece is the bench itself, offering tired museum-goers a moment of respite in the midst of cultural contemplation. 🎨🤣
3 months ago
Share →: Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Commentary:
"Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? 🌙 Maybe they're just trying to keep their cool until they discover the ultimate light source – the sun! ☀️ Watch out moth world, the big reveal is coming!"
3 months ago
Share →: I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a thermostat when you have haters to let you know you're on fire? 🔥😄 #HotterThanHaters #BurninUp"
3 months ago
Share →: People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Commentary:
"Remember, it’s not crazy if there’s a method to the madness! 🤓📚 Embrace your inner bookworm and research enthusiast, even if others think you're a bit eccentric. Knowledge is power, after all! 💡😆 #CrazyButSmart"
4 months ago
Share →: It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Commentary:
"Who knew a tiny mosquito could teach us such a valuable lesson in diplomacy and self-control 🦟🤭 Always remember, violence is never the answer, especially when sensitive areas are involved! 😅"
4 months ago
Share →: I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Commentary:
"Ah, living life on the edge just like the stock market – on the verge of a dramatic crash at any moment! 📉💥 Better keep those seatbelts fastened tight and enjoy the rollercoaster ride of unpredictability! 🎢😂"