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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,754

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Spotted on WeChat:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Spotted on Instagram:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Live now on Threads:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Breaking via Telegram:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

154 Funny anything quotes

More funny anything quotes 👇

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

2 weeks ago

anything, awareness, celebrity, celebrity culture, culture, fame, humor, i, know, miss, nostalgia, opinion, thought
Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

2 weeks ago

anything, buy, discount, free, humor, irony, joke, marketing, offer, promotion, sales, save, special, special offer
Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

2 weeks ago

anything, communication, confidence, honesty, honesty in communication, humor, humor about speech, i, intelligent, let, me, personality, say, self-awareness, sometimes, speech, stop
I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

2 weeks ago

anyone, anything, bedtime, casual, evening, going, humor, humor quote, joke, relaxed, sleep, want
I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

2 weeks ago

again, anything, bad, behavior, being, ever, feel, frustration, good, happen, human, human behavior, humor, i, motivation, people, pessimism, self-awareness, stupid, stupidity, think
I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

2 weeks ago

4pm, am, anything, appointment, daily, daily routine, day, hate, humor, i, laziness, management, person, procrastination, routine, self-awareness, time, time management, type
They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

2 weeks ago

anything, good, humor, invent, invention, job, motivated, motivation, need, people, skills, social
Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

2 weeks ago

anything, enough, fight, frustration, humor, i, irony, mad, myself, self, self-reflection, sometimes
The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

2 weeks ago

anything, expectation, humor, interaction, people, problem, relationship, things
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

2 weeks ago

advice, Amazon, anything, consumerism, hear, humor, i, know, need, needs, procrastination, retail, self-care, shopping, today

For even more funny anything quotes, hit next 👇

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Just landed via TikTok:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Seen just now on Discord:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Shared recently on X:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Spotted on YouTube:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Trending via Messenger:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Activity Log ✨

154 Funny anything quotes

More funny anything quotes 👇

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨