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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Just shared via Slack:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Just landed via X:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Breaking via Snapchat:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Spotted on Telegram:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Going bananas on X:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Breaking via WeChat:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Funny bad news quotes

Funny bad news quotes bring a smile 😄 to those moments when life throws a curveball ⚾️. They turn awkward updates and unexpected setbacks into hilarious reminders that we’re all in this unpredictable ride together 🎢. Need a little laughter to soften the blow? These witty one-liners 💬 are perfect for sharing, coping, and brightening even the gloomiest news day! 🌈✨

New funny bad news quotes 👇

All funny bad news quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

13 shares on X this month:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,471

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Making waves on Instagram:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Just shared via YouTube:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Making waves on WeChat:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

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