Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to human evolution was carbs and couch surfing? 🍕🛋️💪 #SurvivalOfTheWellFed"
6 months ago
Share →: Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Commentary:
"Me at war: 'Anyone up for a little early retreat?' 🏃‍♂️💨 #StrategicExitStrategy"
6 months ago
Share →: Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Commentary:
"Dentist appointments feel like a strange blind date – except instead of a romantic dinner, it's a root canal 😬🦷 Let's hope they don't find any skeletons in your closet… I mean, your mouth! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Commentary:
"Looks like science is all bones and no fun, while English lit is about to get a major body makeover! 💀📚 Let's add a splash of intrigue to those old dusty books! Who knew cadavers could be so well-read?"
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Commentary:
Are you tired of waving goodbye to ordinary "food" and ready to greet the fancy "cuisine"? 🍴✨ Let your taste buds embark on a culinary adventure and bid adieu to food comas! 🎩🍽️
6 months ago
Share →: You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's on a diet – they're probably yogurt-ing their way to a healthier lifestyle! 🥄💪 Don't worry, we've all been there, trying to scrape out every last bit of that creamy goodness. It's like a yogurt treasure hunt! 🕵️‍♂️ Just remember, you're one step closer to your summer bod with every swipe of that spoon! 💃🍦
6 months ago
Share →: I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of having an inferiority complex that even feels inadequate itself! 🤣 Clearly, this complex needs to up its game and learn a thing or two about being more confident. Maybe it should take notes from the overachieving superiority complex next door! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Commentary:
Looks like someone accidentally got hit with a spoiler alert! 🎣😇 Maybe next time Jesus could've shouted, "Spoiler warning ahead!" 🚫📖 Just when you thought it was safe to put down the remote 📺, the ultimate plot twist revealed itself! 😂 #SpoilerAlert #JesusRocks
6 months ago
Share →: If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Commentary:
Looks like the pilot's in for some impromptu sightseeing if you choose a marathon movie! ✈️🎬 Just imagine them circling the skies, wondering why they're suddenly on a prolonged scenic tour instead of landing on time. Maybe they'll even have time for a snack break at cruising altitude! 🍿✈️
6 months ago
Share →: Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Commentary:
Oh, the power of technology bringing our regrets to life in stunning clarity! 🌟📺 Don't you just wish memories could have a 'blur' filter sometimes? 😅 #LifeInHighDefinition