Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of every Monday-hater out there! 🗑️💼 Who wouldn't want to cruise around town, collecting rubbish for just a day and then kicking back for the rest of the week? 🚚🌟 Just imagine the possibilities… Trash talk on Monday, then chill the rest of the week! ♻️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Commentary:
Job interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" 🤔
Me: "I would say my biggest weakness is listening." 😂👂 Sounds like I have plenty of room for personal growth!
6 months ago
Share →: “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Commentary:
"Dress for the job you want, they said. But nobody warned me about the tutu requirement! 🩰 Guess I'm aiming for Principal Ballerina now? 💃 #CareerGoalsGoneWrong"
6 months ago
Share →: I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Commentary:
"Who needs a 9 to 5 when you can have a 24/7 lavish lifestyle, am I right? 💁‍♀️💰 Just imagine trading in your work pants for designer robes and swapping that morning commute for a leisurely spa day at home! #LivingTheDream"
6 months ago
Share →: Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Commentary:
"Imagine being Beyoncé and having someone come up to you gushing about Goldmember instead of your iconic music career 🤯 Maybe she'll just respond with 'I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up' 😂🎤 #OopsIDidItAgain"
6 months ago
Share →: My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive big bag of money in the woods 🌳💰 The ultimate treasure hunt for aspiring financial wizards! Who needs a glass ceiling when you can have a leafy canopy overhead? Here's to forging your own path to fiscal fortune, one forest escapade at a time! 🌲🔍 #MoneyTrees #ForestRiches"
6 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's banking on their vocal talents to sleigh the retirement game! 🎤🎅 Who needs a 401(k) when you've got jingle bells and high notes to back you up? 🎶😄 #RockinAroundTheRetirementPlan"
6 months ago
Share →: Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Commentary:
"Life's a stage, and for serial killers and comedians alike, it's all about that elusive Netflix special 🎬 Or you might just end up on those 'shitty podcasts' discussing your quirky hobbies like collecting stamps or, uh, body parts 🤷‍♂️ Either way, make sure to choose your performances wisely! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Commentary:
"From quantum physics to forecasting the whims of a furry critter… That's a career trajectory that would make even Schrödinger's cat scratch its head! 🌩️🐿️ #ScienceGoneWild"
6 months ago
Share →: Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Commentary:
"I mean, who needs a job when you can ride a pony on a funky space rainbow, am I right? 🦄🌈 Don't worry, unicorns and rainbows are way cooler than a boring old cover letter! 💌✨ #DreamJobGoals"