82 Funny daily life quotes

• When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

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  4 weeks ago

  6, am, broke, daily, daily life, day, dizziness, eating, finances, financial, financial struggle, humor, hunger, life, money, poverty, struggle, whole

• Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

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  4 weeks ago

  chores, daily, daily life, day, dishwasher, family, humor, irony, just, life, teen, teenager, teens, told, worst, worst day

• I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

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  4 weeks ago

  birth, child, child birth, daily, daily life, family, faster, humor, i, kid, life, motherhood, parenting, put, speed

• Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

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  4 weeks ago

  baby, coffee, coffee machine, comparison, daily, daily life, ever, excitement, exciting, funny comparison, humor, life, machine, new, new purchase, parenting, purchase

• 89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

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  4 weeks ago

  ago, communication, daily, daily life, five, great, humor, husband, i, leave, life, marriage, me, means, minutes, relationship, sarcasm, time, timing, wife

• I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

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  4 weeks ago

  before, daily, daily life, embarrassment, humor, humorous, humorous reflection, i, learn, left, lesson, life, life lesson, memoir, never, procrastination, reflection, should, things

• I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

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  4 weeks ago

  anticipation, confuse, confusion, daily, daily life, different, enough, forward, humor, irony, life, looking, me, much, routine, today, tomorrow

• So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

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  4 weeks ago

  daily, daily life, day, every, existential, frustration, humor, humor quote, just, keep, life, life struggle, living, me, monotony, sarcasm, scam, seems, struggle, telling

• Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

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  4 weeks ago

  confidence, daily, daily life, dog, enthusiasm, every, excited, excitement, happen, hell, humor, i, life, man, masculinity, moment, motivation, pet, real, shit, stand, time

• Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

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  4 weeks ago

  daily, daily life, days, feel, frustration, humor, idiots, just, life, perspective, realize, relatability, sarcasm, self-awareness, surrounded

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