615 Funny day quotes

• If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

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  6 days ago

  absolutely, am, anxiety, being, dark, dark humor, day, death, doom, existential, existential humor, health, humor, humor about death, i, last, live, means, mental, mental health, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sense

• I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

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  6 days ago

  day, family, gift, humor, i, joke, kid, mother’s, Mother’s Day, parenting, something, special, threat

• My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

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  6 days ago

  asked, bags, day, family, family joke, humor, humorist, i, joke, lock, locks, me, mother’s, Mother’s Day, packing, prank, wanted

• Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

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  6 days ago

  1996, 1996 movie, believe, celebrate, celebration, comedy, culture, day, federal, federal holiday, hit, holiday, holiday humor, humor, independence, Independence Day, movie, movie reference, pop, pop culture, reference, still

• I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

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  6 days ago

  after, always, break, day, day off, humor, i, Monday, rest, should, Sunday, think, weekend, work, work break

• The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

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  6 days ago

  aging, daily, daily routine, day, funny observation, humor, humor quote, i, just, morning, observation, older, rooster, routine, scream, start, understand, wake up, why

• So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

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  6 days ago

  daily, daily life, day, every, existential, frustration, humor, humor quote, just, keep, life, life struggle, living, me, monotony, sarcasm, scam, seems, struggle, telling

• I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

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  6 days ago

  day, day off, every, great, having, humor, i, joke, Monday, relaxation, sarcasm, should, sound, want, week, weekend, work

• Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

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  6 days ago

  activity, alcohol, blue, casual, day, drink, drinking, excessive, got, humor, humor quote, i, me, recreational, red, roses, social, social activity, thinking, time

• Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

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  6 days ago

  attitude, challenge, day, early, fitness, great, humor, humor in fitness, morning, morning routine, morning run, motivation, positive, positive attitude, routine, run, start, start of day, starting, sure, worse

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