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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,905

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Just shared via Instagram:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Making waves on Slack:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Breaking via YouTube:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Going bananas on TikTok:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Home » Funny Distraction Quotes

150 Funny distraction quotes

Funny distraction quotes capture those moments when your attention just cannot stay in one place! 😅🔄 Whether it’s getting sidetracked by your phone, daydreaming at the worst times, or finding yourself completely lost in a random YouTube rabbit hole, these quotes prove that distractions are a part of life — and they’re pretty hilarious. Sometimes, the detours are the best part! 😂📱🌀

New funny distraction quotes 👇

For even more funny distraction quotes, hit next 👇

All funny distraction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Going viral on YouTube:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Going viral on Telegram:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Live now on TikTok:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Spotted on Instagram:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

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