Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Freshly posted on X:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The government even made aliens boring.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Blink if you want me!

Going viral on Reddit:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

158 Funny distraction quotes

Funny distraction quotes capture those moments when your attention just cannot stay in one place! 😅🔄 Whether it’s getting sidetracked by your phone, daydreaming at the worst times, or finding yourself completely lost in a random YouTube rabbit hole, these quotes prove that distractions are a part of life — and they’re pretty hilarious. Sometimes, the detours are the best part! 😂📱🌀

New funny distraction quotes 👇

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

11 minutes ago

conversation, conversations, distraction, focus, got, half, head, loud, mind, missed, moment, music, relatable, restart, song, too
Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

1 hour ago

apology, behavior, distraction, happening, humor, i, multiple, multitasking, noise, noises, same, sorry, time
Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

2 hours ago

am, boredom, distraction, habit, i, media, question, scrolling, searching, self-reflection, social, social media, why
Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

3 hours ago

daily, daily routine, day, distraction, humor, media, monitor, need, reminder, routine, scrolling, situation, social, social media
I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

4 hours ago

distraction, falling, having, hobby, humor, i, love, recommend, relationship
Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

4 hours ago

delay, distraction, hours, humor, i, internet, just, know, management, media, procrastination, scrolling, social, social media, time, time management
I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

4 hours ago

annoyance, clock, distraction, evil, hate, i, leave, phone, red, side, technology
I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

5 hours ago

apology, communication, distraction, frustration, humor, i, misunderstanding, multitasking, noise, noises, said, same, sorry, things, time, too
I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

8 hours ago

care, cleavage, complaint, distraction, football, guys, hate, humor, i, jealousy, time, time of year, wants, year
My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

15 hours ago

90s, ability, distraction, forgetfulness, garage, humor, i, lyric, lyrics, memory, nostalgia, remember, song, song lyric, why

For even more funny distraction quotes, hit next 👇

All funny distraction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

63 shares on Discord this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

52 shares on Threads this month:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Just shared via X:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Going viral on Twitch:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Live now on Twitch:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Trending via Discord:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴