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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Just landed via X:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Making waves on Twitch:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Just landed via Telegram:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Spotted on Discord:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Spotted on Reddit:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Going viral on Instagram:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

48 Funny exactly quotes

Funny exactly quotes bring a splash of humor and wit into our daily lives, turning ordinary moments into laugh-out-loud memories 😂. They capture the essence of a situation with precision and a dash of hilarity 🎯. Perfect for sharing on social media or brightening up a conversation, these quotes are your go-to for a quick giggle and a perfect punchline 🥳. Dive in and let the laughter begin!

New funny exactly quotes 👇

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

6 days ago

absolutely, being, confusion, creativity, ending, exactly, having, humor, idea, knowing, means, process, story, writer, writing, writing process
Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

6 days ago

behind, being, communication, everything, exactly, hidden, hidden meaning, humor, i, individuality, knows, love, mean, meaning, only, person, sarcasm, self-awareness, unfortunately
Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

6 days ago

exactly, humor, intelligence, manipulation, overconfidence, psychology, self-awareness, smart, thinking, too
The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

6 days ago

ability, able, exactly, female, female intuition, following, girl, guess, guessing, humor, intuition, media, relationship, social, social media
Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

6 days ago

Elon, Elon Musk, ever, exactly, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, musk, read, social, social media, stupid, tweet
I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

6 days ago

birth, date, date of birth, exactly, health, hear, humor, i, information, just, lack, line, love, me, name, personal, personal information, pharmacy, pharmacy line, privacy, public, shouting, standing, world, wrong
A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

6 days ago

1980s, 3, advice, ancient, ancient scrolls, communication, dating, dating advice, days, exactly, guy, humor, me, scrolls, studying, text, texting, waiting
Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

6 days ago

2024, 2025, 2026, birth, birth year, born, exactly, frankenstein, humor, i, monster, movie, Nosferatu, right, time, timing, vampire, werewolf, Werwulf, year
No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

7 days ago

awkwardness, dating, event, exactly, horrific, horror, meeting, personality, similarity, someone, type
The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

7 days ago

exactly, headache, humor, medicine, question, stomach

For even more funny exactly quotes, hit next 👇

All funny exactly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

95 shares on Threads this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Live now on Slack:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Going viral on TikTok:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Just shared via YouTube:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Making waves on Slack:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Just shared via Threads:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Seen just now on Facebook:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

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