Funny quotes excuse

51 Funny excuse quotes

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Funny Quotes Mar 11, 2025

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Funny Quotes Feb 2, 2025

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Due to foreseen circumstances, well within my control, I will be late.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025