Funny quotes gathering

20 Funny gathering quotes

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

1 month ago

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

1 month ago

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

2 months ago

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

2 months ago

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

3 months ago

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

3 months ago

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

3 months ago

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

3 months ago

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

3 months ago

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

3 months ago

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

3 months ago

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

3 months ago

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

3 months ago

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

3 months ago

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

3 months ago

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

3 months ago

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

3 months ago

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

3 months ago

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

3 months ago

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

3 months ago