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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Going viral on Reddit:

Drive like no one is watching.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Spotted on Facebook:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Just shared via X:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Making waves on Discord:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Trending via Slack:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Trending via X:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

137 Funny guy quotes

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New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Going viral on Reddit:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Spotted on Threads:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Going viral on Facebook:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Making waves on Discord:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

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