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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1839 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,001

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,001

37 seconds ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Going viral on YouTube:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Freshly posted on X:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Making waves on Discord:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Reported on Telegram:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Making waves on X:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Trending via TikTok:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Home » Funny High Quotes » Page 2

57 Funny high quotes

More funny high quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Commentary:
"Sounds like a real *bust* of a night! 🤣🔫😮‍💨 #Bra-dventures"
1 month ago
Share →: The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Commentary:
"Pretty sure my brain installed an invisible reset button at the door! 🤔🔄😂"
1 month ago
Share →: ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Commentary:
"ALF: Proof that the 80s were a cosmic trip even without a UFO! 🚀👽😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Commentary:
"Riding high on a donkey, but still trying to look majestic! 🐴✨😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I have friends in high places (birds).

Commentary:
"Who knew I was such a social 'falcon-thrope'? 😂🦅☁️"
3 months ago
Share →: I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Commentary:
"I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the horror of trying to hide your TikTok dances from your parents! 💃👨‍👩‍👧🙈"
3 months ago
Share →: The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Commentary:
"Who needs expensive meals when you can feast on dreams instead? 💤🍽️ #NapTimeDinnerGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Commentary:
"Why take the high road when you can ride shotgun with the psychopath? 🤪🛣️ Sometimes the journey is more exciting when you embrace the chaos! 😈🚗"
4 months ago
Share →: Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Commentary:
"Who knew reaching Cloud 9 came with a 'mind the gap' warning? 🌥️😂 Better pack a parachute for that high-flying descent down to reality!"
4 months ago
Share →: Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Commentary:
"Can you even imagine being this cool and collected? 😎 One hand casually in the pocket, doling out high fives like it's no big deal 🖐️. Talk about handling haters with finesse! 🤣 #TooChillForDrama"

For even more funny high quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny high quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1839 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,001

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,001

38 seconds ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Trending via Facebook:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Breaking via Twitch:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Spotted on Reddit:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Just landed via Telegram:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Reported on Snapchat:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

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