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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,035

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Just landed via X:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Going viral on WeChat:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Going viral on Instagram:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Trending via Telegram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

68 Funny high quotes

More funny high quotes 👇

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

0

2 months ago

across, avoidance, barefoot, carpet, high, high school reunion, humor, i, Lego, legos, pain, reunion, school, walk
I think God was high when he made me.

0

2 months ago

confidence, divine, God, high, humor, humor quote, i, lighthearted, me, quirky, self-deprecating, think
Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

0

2 months ago

curiosity, drug, enough, existential, God, high, humor, humor quote, satire, spirituality, stay, think, tuned
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

0

2 months ago

amount, boss, day, five, give, high, high five, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, job, joke, motivation, motivational, motivational prank, office, office humor, prank, workplace, workplace joke
I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, build, coming, fun, fun activity, high, high seas, humor, invitation, pirate, sailing, seas, ship
One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

0

2 months ago

bra, embarrassment, got, high, humor, humor story, i, intoxication, misunderstanding, shot, situation, social, social situation, story, thought, time
The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

0

2 months ago

activity, blank, common, common experience, confusion, embarrassment, experience, forgetfulness, forgot, high, i, indoor, indoor activity, memory, mind, mind blank, number, room, stand, staring, times, why
ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

0

2 months ago

1980s, 1980s culture, 80s, ALF, culture, drug, drug humor, drugs, high, humor, nostalgic, parody, sitcom, vintage
Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

0

2 months ago

actually, arrogance, donkey, high, high horse, horse, horses, humility, humor, humor quote, sarcasm, satire
I have friends in high places (birds).

0

2 months ago

birds, friends, high, high places, humor, i, nature, places, witty

For even more funny high quotes, hit next 👇

All funny high quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Discord this month:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

66 shares on Twitch this month:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Trending via Threads:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Breaking via Discord:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Just landed via Discord:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Spotted on X:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Making waves on Threads:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Activity Log ✨

68 Funny high quotes

More funny high quotes 👇

All funny high quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨