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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Going viral on X:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Going viral on Discord:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Just shared via Telegram:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Making waves on WeChat:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Trending via Instagram:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

116 Funny hope quotes

More funny hope quotes 👇

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

2 weeks ago

doing, exist, hope, humor, i, me, other me, parallel, parallel universe, self-reflection, universe, well, well-being
I hope this email finds you in a well.

2 weeks ago

communication, email, finds, hope, humor, i, well, workplace
I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

2 weeks ago

along, encounter, hope, hoping, humor, i, isolation, journey, know, less, road, run, social, travel
“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

2 weeks ago

am, communication, doing, email, finds, found, hope, humor, i, irony, me, sarcasm, unwell, well, workplace
I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

2 weeks ago

Christmas, dyslexia, hope, humor, i, irony, mail, people, Santa, Satan
The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

2 weeks ago

body, crematorium, death, fitness, hope, hot, hot body, humor, irony, joke, last
Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

2 weeks ago

communication, email, emails, greetings, happiness, happy, hope, humor, i, sarcasm, sign, sign off, start, well, workplace
I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

3 weeks ago

actually, body, ever, friendship, help, hide, hope, humor, i, irony, need, people, vow
“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

3 weeks ago

alone, courtesy, day, extend, hope, humor, i, leave, me, procrastination, same, seize, thank
LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

3 weeks ago

ago, desperation, drink, help, hope, humor, idiot, job, LinkedIn, networking, past, six, where

For even more funny hope quotes, hit next 👇

All funny hope quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

99 shares on WeChat this month:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

42 shares on Slack this month:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

92 shares on X this month:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

27 shares on Slack this month:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Just shared via TikTok:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Shared recently on Threads:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Spotted on Telegram:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Just shared via TikTok:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Live now on TikTok:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Activity Log ✨

116 Funny hope quotes

More funny hope quotes 👇

All funny hope quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨