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New funny quotes: 56 this month

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

16 Funny insurance quotes

Funny insurance quotes bring a smile 😄 to the serious world of policies and premiums! Whether you’re dodging paperwork 📄 or just need a laugh 😂 during claim time, these witty lines turn insurance headaches into chuckles. Ready to lighten up your coverage conversation? Let’s dive into some humor that proves even insurance can be fun! 🎉🚗💼

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026Feb 2, 2026

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Posted onJan 20, 2026

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Posted onJan 20, 2026

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Posted onJan 19, 2026

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Posted onJan 19, 2026

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