610 funny know quotes - Page 11 - Wordgag ツ

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Jan 21, 2026

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Jan 21, 2026

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Jan 21, 2026

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Jan 21, 2026

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Jan 21, 2026

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Jan 21, 2026

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Jan 21, 2026

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Jan 21, 2026

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Jan 21, 2026

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Jan 21, 2026

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Jan 21, 2026

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Jan 21, 2026

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Jan 21, 2026

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Jan 21, 2026

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Jan 21, 2026

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Jan 21, 2026

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Jan 21, 2026

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Jan 21, 2026

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Jan 21, 2026

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Jan 21, 2026

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Jan 21, 2026

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Jan 21, 2026

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Jan 21, 2026

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Jan 21, 2026

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Jan 21, 2026

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Jan 21, 2026

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Jan 21, 2026

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Jan 21, 2026

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Jan 21, 2026

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Jan 21, 2026

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Jan 21, 2026

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Jan 21, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Jan 21, 2026

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Jan 21, 2026

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Jan 21, 2026

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Jan 21, 2026

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Jan 21, 2026

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Jan 21, 2026

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Jan 21, 2026

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Jan 21, 2026