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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,984

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Just shared via Threads:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Live now on Slack:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Trending via Telegram:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Just landed via Threads:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Trending via Reddit:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Just landed via Facebook:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Going viral on Slack:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Going viral on Slack:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Home » Funny Leave Quotes » Page 2

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

0

1 month ago

alien, alone, ancient, home, home planet, humor, just, leave, loneliness, me, planet, please, return, sci-fi, time, time travel, travel, trying
Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

0

1 month ago

cat, cool, humor, i, intrusion, just, leave, life, never, pet, relationship, stray, stray cat
I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

0

1 month ago

butter, complaint, crumb, crumbs, difficult, difficult time, family, humor, keep, leave, me, please, thoughts, time, visiting, visitor
Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

0

1 month ago

alone, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, life, me, mental, mental exhaustion, mentally, office, office life, please, social, social interaction, work
Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

0

1 month ago

apparently, appear, clutter, cupboard, extra, humor, kitchen, leave, lid, lids, nowhere, organization, storage, too, Tupperware
“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

0

1 month ago

admission, admit, afraid, bad, bad decision, daily, daily life, decision, example, good, house, humor, i, idea, irony, leave, leaving, leaving house, life, mistake, self-deprecation, terrible, thought, today, wrong
My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

0

1 month ago

comfort, day, favorite, home, house, introvert, lazy, lazy day, leave, leisure, relaxation, stay, stay home, thing, weekend
Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

0

1 month ago

activity, early, early leave, email, finds, fun, fun activity, hope, humor, leave, moonwalking, motivation, work
It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

0

1 month ago

alone, Friday, frustration, humor, i, independence, introvert, leave, me, please, ran, small, small talk, solitude, talk, Tuesday
When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

0

1 month ago

confidence, early, flirtation, fun, humor, leave, leave early, let, sexy, should, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

68 shares on X this month:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Just shared via Slack:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Going viral on Facebook:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Just landed via Telegram:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Activity Log ✨

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

All funny leave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨