79 Funny leave quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

  Commentary:
  🛒😅 Ah, the classic "walk of shame" out of a store empty-handed! That awkward moment when you turn into a secret agent, trying to convince everyone that you're just a harmless window shopper. 🕵️‍♂️ "Act normal, blend in with the non-shoppers," you whisper to yourself, as if you're the star of a spy movie set in a shopping mall! Just keep calm and carry on…without the shopping bags. 😉

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  2 months ago

  Share →: You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a message in a bottle when you can have a bottle with a message 🍹📜? Tequila has a way of making sure that message gets through loud and clear! Cheers to a truly effective communication strategy! 🎉😄 #TequilaTalks"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

  Commentary:
  "Work smarter, not harder… or just leave early! 😂💼 Don't worry, it's never too late to embrace your inner 'early leaver' dreams! 🕒👩‍💼 #WorkLifeBalanceGoals"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

  Commentary:
  "Clams: the original master of hiding in plain sight and making us work way too hard for a tiny snack! 🐚 Maybe they're just teaching us a lesson in the art of patience and perseverance 🤔 or perhaps they're just clamming up when it comes to sharing their goodies! 😄"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, in the office jungle, sometimes a touch of eccentricity is the key to maintaining your territory. 🐒 Just don't blame us if you end up talking to yourself… as the prophecy foretold. 🔮😄"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

  Commentary:
  “Passwords are like underwear: Keep them hidden, refresh them often, and definitely don’t be handing them out to random passersby! 🙈🔒 #PasswordProtection101″

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like the key to escaping the office is not a corner office or a fancy title, but simply a fictional child! Who knew that the path to freedom was paved with imaginary offspring? Just make sure your "kid" doesn't accidentally show up at the company picnic, or you'll have some explaining to do!

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  3 months ago

  Share →: She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, it looks like someone just got burned with their own fire! Seems like the tables have turned – from leaving her on read to leaving her speechless. Maybe next time, think before you text!

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

  Commentary:
  "Well, I guess fat is just too clingy to let go. It just can't resist hanging around for the long haul, unlike those socks that mysteriously disappear in the laundry!"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

  Commentary:
  😂 "Ah, the irony of being ravenously hungry after a dental appointment! It's like your mouth is screaming 'feed me' while your dentist is saying 'not so fast, buddy!' 🦷🍔 Don't worry, that post-dentist feast will taste all the more satisfying after the mandated food exile!"

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