I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

You lose some, you lose some more.

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.