Funny mortality quotes

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Commentary:
“Just sent the email! Now let’s hope I don’t get carried away by a gust of wind. ”

1 week ago

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Commentary:
“Looks like the hefty price tag on funerals is the ultimate anti-aging remedy! Who knew the fear of funeral bills could add years to your life? #LifeHacks”

2 months ago

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Commentary:
“Health nuts – the irony is strong with this one! Who knew that all those kale smoothies would lead to a showdown with a stale hospital menu? Remember folks, everything in moderation, even moderation itself! ”

2 months ago

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Commentary:
“Here lies a real crowd-pleaser! Who’s up for catching the bouquet and continuing this wild ride of life? #FuneralGoals”

4 months ago

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Commentary:
“Cheers to getting one step closer to getting that perfect obituary written! #AgingGracefully”

4 months ago

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Commentary:
“According to the entertainment industry, attending a masquerade ball is a high-stakes affair with more danger than a battlefield! Who knew donning a fancy mask could be riskier than dodging bullets? #BallroomBattles”

4 months ago

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