166 Funny new quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe King Kong just wanted the best view in town… or he seriously underestimated the size of New York City!" 🦍🌆 #HeightIssues

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  2 months ago

  Share →: When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the sweet aroma of New York hamster train tracks mingling with the refreshing scent of rain 🐹🌧️ Who knew urban transportation could be so gourmet? Just the perfect blend of city funk and pet shop chic!

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

  Commentary:
  🤣😂 When starting a new show, it's like walking into a party full of strangers and trying to figure out who's who! 🤔📺 Just remember, every character is a potential friend or foe in the wild world of TV land! 😄👋

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

  Commentary:
  🤣 "Watching 'The Godfather' is like playing a game of 'spot the Italian' on steroids! 🇮🇹 Who knew there were so many pasta-loving mobsters in one movie?! 🍝😂"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

  Commentary:
  "New Year's resolutions are like a stray hair – you pluck it out and it just comes back for more! 🙈 Here's to making resolutions that stick like glitter on a New Year's Eve outfit! 🎉✨"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

  Commentary:
  "Grin from ear to ear like a monkey who just hit the fruit jackpot with a fresh, perfectly ripe banana! 🐵🍌😄 Let that happiness shine through, no matter how silly you may look! Embrace your inner primate and show off that infectious smile!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical transformation of a soccer player – from grungy to gorgeous, in a matter of seconds! It's like a high-stakes version of 'Extreme Makeover: Pitch Edition'! 💁‍♂️✨⚽️"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like COVID got tired of just affecting your health, now it's coming for your ears too! Stay safe out there, you might end up binge-listening to shows about cat fashion or underwater basket weaving thanks to this new variant."

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs fireworks when you have this level of determination to bid farewell to a year? Burning the midnight oil to ensure that 2021 gets the hint – talk about a memorable send-off! Here's to the countdown to brighter days ahead, and a well-deserved good riddance to what's behind us."

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magic of the crockpot – turning bad cooking into a gourmet slow-cooked masterpiece! Who knew procrastination could taste so good?"

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