28 Funny return quotes

• Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

  ---

  0

  2 weeks ago

  book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book

• Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  alien, alone, ancient, home, home planet, humor, just, leave, loneliness, me, planet, please, return, sci-fi, time, time travel, travel, trying

• Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apology, appointment, appointments, call, calls, depression, embarrassing, embarrassment, fog, health, lift, mental, mental health, miss, phone, phone call, return, sometimes, tour, whole

• It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  animal, camel, Carl, desert, horse, humor, i, name, rental, return, return trip, through, travel, trip, true

• If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  adult, adult life, adulting, humor, ID, joke, life, life joke, policy, responsibility, return, return policy, sarcasm

• Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  after, death, dust, email, existential, humor, life, mortality, remember, reminder, return, send

• Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  back, coming, comparison, dysfunctional, dysfunctional family, family, humor, media, return, returning, social, social media, Twitter

• I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  allowed, astronaut, back, choice, decision, humor, i, return, should, space, think

• There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  back, card, humor, relaxation, return, sympathy, sympathy card, vacation, work, workplace

• Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  back, drama, everyone, hours, humor, just, media, quit, return, separation, social, social media, trial

All funny return quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌