334 Funny someone quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

  Commentary:
  "Looking for someone cuter? Sorry, you've hit the cuteness jackpot with yourself! 😏🌟 #SelfLoveGoals #CutenessOverload"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs insults when you can sprinkle a little sweetness on top of pure sarcasm? 🍬😏 It's like giving a backhanded compliment wrapped in a warm hug. 😜😇 Let's keep 'em guessing with our perfectly blended sincerity and sarcasm – the ultimate playful combo! 🤭💁‍♂️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a motivational coach when you've got a peer pressure squad standing by? 😂👯‍♂️ Just remember, choose your peer pressure pals wisely – might end up trying skydiving or eating exotic foods before you know it! 🪂🍜"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

  Commentary:
  When someone knocks on your door and you suddenly turn into a ninja master 🥷🏼 ready to defend your domain! Remember, it's just a visitor, not the FBI looking for you! 😂🚪 #DingDongDefense

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently my navigational skills are so superior, I practically guarantee arrival at the desired destination 🗺️🏆💪 #GPSinHumanForm"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of vague aspirations coming back to haunt us! 😂 It's all fun and games until you realize you're not even sure who you wanted to be in the first place! 🤔 Next time, let's remember to aim for something a bit more specific, shall we? 🎯"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, sweet love! 🍫💕 May your relationship be as deeply indulgent and full of satisfaction as a slice of chocolate cake. Just remember, a little extra sweetness never hurt anyone! 😉🍰 #RelationshipGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

  Commentary:
  "🌊🧜‍♀️ When life gives you rising sea levels, make a splash and embrace your inner mermaid! Who needs feet when you can have fins, am I right? Dive in and ride that wave of intrigue! 🌊🧜‍♀️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'stare while I chew' move. It's like they've never seen a mesmerizing performance of mastication before! 👀🍴 #EatingIsSeriousBusiness"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

  Commentary:
  "Handle my phone with caution, or I might just ninja chop your hand away! 📱💥🥋 #PhoneProtectionNinja"

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