Funny quotes tell Page 2

159 Funny tell quotes

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

2 months ago

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

2 months ago

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

2 months ago

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

2 months ago

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

2 months ago

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

3 months ago

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

3 months ago

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

3 months ago

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

3 months ago

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

3 months ago

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

3 months ago

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

3 months ago

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

3 months ago

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

3 months ago

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

3 months ago

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

3 months ago

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

3 months ago

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

3 months ago

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

3 months ago

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

3 months ago