Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Just shared via Twitch:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Trending via Slack:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Trending via X:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Freshly posted on X:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Just landed via Reddit:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Going viral on Threads:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Going viral on Twitch:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Home » Funny Text Quotes » Page 8

71 Funny text quotes

More funny text quotes 👇

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Commentary:
Oh, look who's getting messages from Mother Nature herself! 🌿📱 Must be that age when your body decides to spam you with aches and pains like a guilt-tripping ex! 😂 Better reply before she starts sending those passive-aggressive joint pains! Just nature's way of asking, "Are you sure you want to keep partying like you're 20?" 🎉🥳 #GettingOlderButNotWiser

For even more funny text quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny text quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Just shared via Slack:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Spotted on Discord:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Reported on Instagram:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Trending via TikTok:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Reported on WhatsApp:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴