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22 Funny twice quotes

Funny twice quotes are the perfect blend of humor and wit to brighten your day twice over! 😂✨ Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay or just love a good laugh, these quotes will have you chuckling nonstop. Ready to double the fun and share some smiles? Let’s dive into the world of hilarious moments that keep the giggles coming! 😄🎉

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Posted onMar 9, 2025Mar 9, 2025

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Posted onFeb 12, 2025Feb 12, 2025

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Posted onJan 28, 2025

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Posted onJan 27, 2025

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Posted onJan 27, 2025

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Posted onJan 25, 2025

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Posted onJan 25, 2025

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Posted onJan 25, 2025

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Posted onJan 25, 2025

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Posted onJan 23, 2025

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Posted onJan 23, 2025

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Posted onJan 23, 2025

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Posted onJan 22, 2025

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Posted onJan 22, 2025

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