17 Funny twice quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: “You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

  Commentary:
  "😂 Oh, sorry, my words must have been doing a little competition with yours! 🗣️ Silence is golden… until I decide to break it, right?"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

  Commentary:
  🎁💝 "This Valentine's Day, giving your partner a shirt they haven't worn in years is the ultimate power move! It's not just recycling, it's a thoughtful reminder of their fashion choices. Who knew re-gifting could be so romantic? Double the thought, double the love! ❤️😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's having a 'screwdriver' kind of morning! 🍊🍸 Better double-check those bottles next time or you might end up with a 'citrus cocktail' for breakfast! 😉🍹

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, looks like someone is on the naughty list! 😜🎅 Maybe Santa isn't real, but hey, at least someone is making sure we all behave…right? 😉📜 #ListCheckingGoals

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

  Commentary:
  "Confucius knew how to make the best out of every situation – even the hangovers! 🍺💀 Just remember, it's all about quality over quantity…unless we're talking about #memories, then bottoms up! 🥂😄"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like even your own self is ghosting you now! 📵😂 Maybe it's time for some self-reflection on your caller ID skills. #VoicemailVoices"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa's more forgetful than we thought! 🎅📋🥛 Maybe he got distracted by all those cookies and never made it to the dairy aisle. Naughty list for the milk, Santa! 🍪🥛📜

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

  Commentary:
  "Let's give a round of applause to the nap warriors 🙌💤! Waking up multiple times in a day? That's some next-level bravery right there! 😂 #NapGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least that broken shrimp is keeping busy with some gourmet meal prep! 🍤🍚 Who knew shrimp could double as a chef? 😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

  Commentary:
  🚪💭 "A little sign under the doorbell that says, 'think twice, adventurer.' Translation: 'Abandon all hope (or at least your itchy feet) ye who enter here!' 😂⚠️🧭"

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