346 Funny am quotes

• The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

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  2 weeks ago

  am, casual, clothes, comfort, fact, fashion, humor, i, lot, person, personality, self-deprecation, sleep, sleepwear, wardrobe

• I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

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  2 weeks ago

  am, crime, crime show, done, drug, escobar, humor, i, lot, marijuana, motivation, much, Narcos, pablo, Pablo Escobar, productivity, say, show, smoking, someone, weed

• I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

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  2 weeks ago

  am, awake, difficult, difficult time, humor, i, personal, personal space, please, privacy, respect, sarcasm, sleep, space, time

• The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

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  2 weeks ago

  3, am, best, contact, dreams, fantasy, humor, humor quote, imagination, late, late night, me, meet, night

• I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

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  2 weeks ago

  aging, aging process, am, avoiding, avoiding sunlight, being, costs, dark, dark humor, fine, humor, i, place, process, sarcasm, saying, self-deprecating, storage, sunlight, wine

• I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

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  2 weeks ago

  am, comedy, dessert, diet, food, food joke, humor, i, italian, Italian food, joke, just, leaving, pasta, pizza, speak, where, wordplay

• I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

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  2 weeks ago

  achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear

• I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

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  2 weeks ago

  age, am, away, box, clutter, decision making, hoarding, humor, i, nice, perspective, question, sentimentality, storage, throwing, where

• How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

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  2 weeks ago

  am, appreciation, confidence, forget, humor, i, life, love, me, positivity, self, self appreciation, self-love, silly

• I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

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  2 weeks ago

  am, honesty, humor, i, identity, me, media, person, sarcasm, self-deprecating, social, social media, want, worse

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