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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,989

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Breaking via Twitch:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Breaking via YouTube:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Trending via Instagram:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Spotted on YouTube:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Home » Funny Animal Quotes » Page 18

194 Funny animal quotes

More funny animal quotes 👇

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

0

3 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, destruction, emotion, feel, humor, i, just, life, marine, marine life, need, orca, ruin, sarcasm, something, sometimes, yacht
Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

0

3 months ago

animal, breeze, enjoying, here, humor, i, just, nature, nighttime, outdoors, owl, solitude, tree, trees
If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

0

3 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, Earth, everything, flat, flat earth, gravity, humor, joke, pet, pet behavior, pushed
Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

0

4 months ago

animal, animal behavior, away, behavior, car, comparison, crazy, day, found, funny comparison, gas, gas station, got, having, horse, humor, imagine, later, life, medieval, medieval times, modern, modern life, ran, run, runaway, runaway horse, scared, station, times, transportation
A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

0

4 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, culture, little, paw, pet, respect, resting, sign
One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

0

4 months ago

animal, day, going, humor, love, obsession, relationship, someone, squirrel
I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

0

4 months ago

animal, away, beef, bring, cat, cat food, cow, ego, food, house, humor, i, kind, need, pet, point, stay
My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

0

4 months ago

animal, day, humor, laziness, nap, sleep, sloth, spirit, spirit animal
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

0

4 months ago

animal, animal care, care, caretaker, chicken, farm, humor, joke, literally, people, pun, take, wordplay
Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

0

4 months ago

animal, animal behavior, balcony, behavior, cat, emotion, even, explain, human, human emotion, humor, i, jump, owner, pet, pet owner, trying, want, well, why

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

10 shares on X this month:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

92 shares on Discord this month:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

54 shares on X this month:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Trending via Reddit:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Making waves on WeChat:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Just shared via Twitch:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Live now on Snapchat:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Just landed via TikTok:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Making waves on YouTube:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Activity Log ✨

194 Funny animal quotes

More funny animal quotes 👇

All funny animal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨