Funny apples quotes

• Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

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  2 months ago

  apple, apples, bad, blueberry, delicious, disgusting, Doritos, every, food, food humor, fruit, great, humor, inconsistency, know, problem, same, snack, sometimes, taste, time

• Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

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  2 months ago

  apple, apples, beer, beers, couple, dead, drinking, feeding, game, gaming, getting, horse, humor, just, petting, red, Red Dead Redemption, redemption, relaxation, video, video game

• Women are like apples; I like biting them.

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  2 months ago

  apple, apples, biting, flirt, humor, i, joke, playful, teasing, women

• I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

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  2 months ago

  apple, apples, berry, humor, i, imagination, imagine, just, second, size, wish

• One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

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  2 months ago

  apple, apples, doctor, downside, eating, food, give, humor, marriage

• I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

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  2 months ago

  apple, apples, away, day, eat, everyone, experiment, humor, i, keep, keep away, need, profession, whatever

• Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

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  2 months ago

  40s, advice, aging, apple, apples, doctors, health, humor, matter, need, welcome

• Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

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  2 months ago

  apples, bag, careful, fitness, grocery, heavy, humor, journey, just, market, me, relationship, update, wife

• Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

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  3 months ago

  apples, fairy, fairy tale, humor, i, joke, need, number, request, snow, Snow White, tale, white, witch

• Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

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  3 months ago

  apples, being, charge, humor, imagine, irony, knowledge, snake, still, temptation, trust, wisdom

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