22 Funny contact quotes

• 

  21 hours ago

  Share →: I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

  Commentary:
  "Just tuned into your brainwaves—amazing show! 📡😆🧠"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

  Commentary:
  "Suddenly, it's a sidewalk stand-up show! 😂👀 #FreelanceComedian"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the silent office camaraderie of locking eyes with a fellow meeting sufferer, sharing a moment of 'Can you believe this?' without saying a word. 🤨👀 It's like our secret language of sanity in a sea of corporate absurdity!"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the daily dance with the delightful divas of dumbness! 💃🤦‍♂️ Remember to keep your sanity intact as you tango with the clueless crew!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, can't risk falling in love and ending up in debt! 💔💸 Maybe we should just stick to awkward glances instead. 😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

  Commentary:
  "Please hesitate to get in touch with me. My procrastination game is strong 💁‍♂️⏳ Who knows when I'll eventually reply? It's a surprise for both of us! 🤣📱 #DelayTactics #MasterOfProcrastination"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing says 'I'm in charge' quite like twerking with unbreakable eye contact 🍑👀. Just make sure you pick the right audience…unless you want to establish dominance in the awkward department 😂💃"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

  Commentary:
  "When they ask 'how was your weekend?' just reply 'better than yours' with a wink 😉 and hold that eye contact like a boss! 😎 Who needs modesty when you've got sass, right? 🤷‍♂️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Farting, but with eye contact.

  Commentary:
  Oh, so you’re taking farting to a whole new level – now with eye contact 👁️💨! Nothing says "good manners" like asserting dominance in the most unconventional way possible. Next time, maybe throw in a wink for extra flair 😉.

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

  Commentary:
  Sure thing! How about this: "If you think I'm bad at texting now, just wait until I'm ghosting you on the Ouija Board! 👻📱 #TextsFromTheAfterlife"

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