40 Funny contact quotes

• For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

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  1 week ago

  act, again, always, breakup, contact, final, final act, humor, i, irony, love, memory, never, think

• I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

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  1 week ago

  attitude, check, complaint, complaints, contact, daughter, humor, i, manufacturer, parent-child, please, response, told, witty, witty response

• When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

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  1 week ago

  camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom

• I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

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  1 week ago

  age, communication, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, someone, talker, where

• I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

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  1 week ago

  confidence, contact, curiosity, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, know, mystery, people, social, social interaction, something

• I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

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  1 week ago

  boob, boobs, contact, eye, eye contact, glad, humor, i, interaction, last, making, me, need, people, self-deprecating, social, social interaction, thing

• Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

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  1 week ago

  anyone, awkwardness, banana, contact, eat, eating, etiquette, eye, eye contact, food, food etiquette, humor, i, social, social awkwardness, while

• I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

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  1 week ago

  advice, being, bigger, bigger person, contact, energy, humor, i, matching, matching energy, no contact, person, recommend, relationship

• Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

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  1 week ago

  communication, contact, humor, irony, media, misunderstanding, person, social, social media, understand, welcome

• Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

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  1 week ago

  boy, breakup, contact, contacts, delete, every, game, gone, hangman, humor, letter, name, names, relationship, revenge, time, upset

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