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35 Funny contact quotes

Funny contact quotes 😂 bring a splash of humor to those everyday connections 📱✨ Whether you’re texting, calling, or just saving numbers, these witty lines add a playful twist to your contacts list 😜📞 Ready to giggle every time you scroll through your phone? Dive into a world where contacts aren’t just names—they’re pure entertainment! 🎉📲

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Posted on23 hours ago23 hours ago

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Posted on5 months ago5 months ago

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Posted on6 months ago6 months ago

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Posted onMar 21, 2025Mar 21, 2025

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Posted onMar 8, 2025Mar 8, 2025

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Posted onFeb 11, 2025Feb 11, 2025

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

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