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20 Funny contact quotes

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

2 weeks ago

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

1 month ago

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

2 months ago

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

2 months ago

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

3 months ago

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

3 months ago

Farting, but with eye contact.

3 months ago

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

3 months ago

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

3 months ago

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

3 months ago

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

3 months ago

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

3 months ago

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

3 months ago

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

3 months ago

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

3 months ago

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

3 months ago

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

3 months ago

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

3 months ago