Commentary:
"Please hesitate to get in touch with me. My procrastination game is strong 💁♂️⏳ Who knows when I'll eventually reply? It's a surprise for both of us! 🤣📱 #DelayTactics #MasterOfProcrastination"
Commentary:
"Nothing says 'I'm in charge' quite like twerking with unbreakable eye contact 🍑👀. Just make sure you pick the right audience…unless you want to establish dominance in the awkward department 😂💃"
Commentary:
"When they ask 'how was your weekend?' just reply 'better than yours' with a wink 😉 and hold that eye contact like a boss! 😎 Who needs modesty when you've got sass, right? 🤷♂️"
Commentary:
Oh, so you’re taking farting to a whole new level – now with eye contact 👁️💨! Nothing says "good manners" like asserting dominance in the most unconventional way possible. Next time, maybe throw in a wink for extra flair 😉.
Commentary:
Sure thing! How about this: "If you think I'm bad at texting now, just wait until I'm ghosting you on the Ouija Board! 👻📱 #TextsFromTheAfterlife"

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.
Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you can have the riveting experience of conversing with tech support for hours without any progress 😂💔 #ModernDatingStruggles"
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic recipe for social disaster! 🍸👀 Just add a splash of liquid courage and a sprinkle of intense gazes, and voilà – you've got yourself a cocktail of chaos! Proceed with caution, folks. 😂🚫"

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.
Commentary:
"Who would have thought that social distancing could become a walk down memory lane? Childhood punishments turned hobbies – talk about a blast from the past! 🏠😷 #TheUnintentionalThrowback"
Commentary:
Well, that's one sneaky pup! 😂🐶 It seems like your dog knows how to keep you on your toes with their unpredictable antics. Who knew our furry friends could be such masters of deception? Just imagine the mischief they get up to when we're not around! 🐾 #DoggyDrama