Wordgag ツ

8,000+ funny quotes
humor
irony
just
relationship
joke
life
food
people
time
social
activity
sarcasm
communication
love
work
know
procrastination
technology
want
someone
parenting
need
sleep
think
never

19 Funny contact quotes

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Funny Quotes Mar 21, 2025

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Funny Quotes Feb 11, 2025

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Farting, but with eye contact.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025