25 Funny contact quotes

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

  Commentary:
  Arm wrestling: the ultimate bromance activity! 💪👀🤝

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

  Commentary:
  😂😂 "When your nephew thinks he's the king of the sandbox and you're just a lowly subject. 👑🚫🍼"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

  Commentary:
  "Can't wait for our 3 a.m. dream meeting! Don't forget to bring the dream snacks! 😴🍕✨"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

  Commentary:
  "Just tuned into your brainwaves—amazing show! 📡😆🧠"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

  Commentary:
  "Suddenly, it's a sidewalk stand-up show! 😂👀 #FreelanceComedian"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the silent office camaraderie of locking eyes with a fellow meeting sufferer, sharing a moment of 'Can you believe this?' without saying a word. 🤨👀 It's like our secret language of sanity in a sea of corporate absurdity!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the daily dance with the delightful divas of dumbness! 💃🤦‍♂️ Remember to keep your sanity intact as you tango with the clueless crew!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, can't risk falling in love and ending up in debt! 💔💸 Maybe we should just stick to awkward glances instead. 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

  Commentary:
  "Please hesitate to get in touch with me. My procrastination game is strong 💁‍♂️⏳ Who knows when I'll eventually reply? It's a surprise for both of us! 🤣📱 #DelayTactics #MasterOfProcrastination"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing says 'I'm in charge' quite like twerking with unbreakable eye contact 🍑👀. Just make sure you pick the right audience…unless you want to establish dominance in the awkward department 😂💃"

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