My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Commentary:
"If only our wishes had monetary value! 😂 Imagine the joy of being rich and literally **showered** in cash, but hey, maybe being left alone afterward is the real treasure 🤑💸 #FantasyGoals"

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Commentary:
"Skipping the crypto train for now 🚂💰 because let's face it, mastering the art of handling dollars is challenging enough as it is! 💸😅 #Priorities"

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like "Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here's fifteen dollars."

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Commentary:
"Jury duty: the ultimate surprise office party where you get to play detective without the cool spy gadgets. 🔍💼 And the pay? A whopping $15 to solve real-life mysteries. Sign me up for that adventure! 🕵️‍♂️💸"

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Commentary:
"Who needs fancy diet plans when you've got the 'broke until payday' regime! 🤑🥗 It's the ultimate test of willpower and budgeting skills. Just remember, you're not hungry, you're just financially disciplined! 😂💸 #DietGoals"

I don't know if I'm pregnant or what, but I've been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Commentary:
"Either that's a very extravagant pregnancy craving or someone needs to check if there's a money tree growing somewhere nearby! 💰🌳 Maybe it's just the financial fertility kicking in! 🤰😂"

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Commentary:
"Parenting tip: Want to lose weight? Just have kids. You'll skip the gym and burn calories chasing after food scraps and discarded snacks all day! 🏃‍♂️💸🗑️ #ParentingStruggles #FloorFoodies"

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Commentary:
"Who needs fun when you can have a million dollars in cold, hard cash 💸💰 Girls will be girls…with expensive tastes! 😄💁‍♀️ #CashOverFun"

I don't need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Commentary:
"Who needs grass when you can roll in a bed of crisp Benjamins? 💵💰 Talk about living the high life! Just remember, money can't photosynthesize like grass does… but hey, it does pay for a fancy lawn service! 😉 #CashOverGrass"

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrilling paradox of gambling: attempting to get something for nothing, while ending up spending a fortune in the process 🎲💸 It's like chasing after a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, only to find a bill for the rainbow's maintenance fees."

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Commentary:
Looks like someone found a creative way to settle the score with the police! 📸💸 Nothing beats a clever response to a photo radar ticket, turning the tables in style! Next time, maybe they'll try accepting payment in witty retorts instead! 😂 #TicketPaidInStyle